How to Get a Cat to Like You: A Step-by-Step Guide😻
Introduction
The question I’m posing is: how do I get a cat that's a total stranger to like me? It’s important to recognize that this process might not be immediate. Whether the creature is a cat, dog, or even an alligator, there’s a possibility it might not warm up to you right away. But, we’re focusing on cats here, and this is about how to enter their space, respect their territory, and build a relationship.
Understanding the Raw Cat
Before diving into how to engage a cat, let’s remind ourselves who a cat really is. Every cat you meet carries within them the instincts of their ancestors—the "raw cat." Cats see the world in terms of predator or prey, friend or foe, and their reaction to you is influenced by these instincts. Respect their territory, because cats are naturally territorial creatures. If you walk into a room and dominate the space, that’s a strike against you.
Respecting Territory
Confidence for a cat comes from their ownership of the space. So, when you walk into a cat’s territory, the last thing you should do is immediately try to dominate the area. Don’t tower over them; get off your feet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, towering over an animal is a sure way to make them wary of you. The best thing you can do is sit down and allow the cat to come to you. This small gesture immediately gives them the confidence they need to feel comfortable.
The Ambassador Approach
Think of yourself as an ambassador, not a guest in a home. You’re entering a new country—Cat Land. When you walk into the room, your job is to be an ambassador, someone who respects the customs, language, and body language of the cat. It’s about understanding and respecting the cat's unique way of communicating, which can be quite different from ours.
The Three-Step Handshake
Now that we’ve established who the cat is and the importance of territory, let’s move into the actual interaction: the three-step handshake. It’s all about asking for consent at each step, rather than making assumptions about how the cat will react. Here’s how it works:
1. Step One: Slow Blink
The first step is demonstrating trust. Cats size you up as either a predator or prey. To show you’re trustworthy, give a slow blink. Close your eyes softly and slowly, which shows the cat you trust them not to harm you.
2. Step Two: Scent Exchange
Next, offer your scent. Use an object that carries your scent, like glasses or a piece of clothing. Let the cat approach and rub their cheeks against it, mixing your scent with theirs. This exchange signifies mutual respect.
3. Step Three: Present Your Hand
Finally, offer your hand—not to pet, but for the cat to sniff. Don’t make sudden movements, and avoid going over the top of their head, as this can feel like a threat. Instead, allow the cat to guide the interaction by rubbing against your hand.
Understanding Body Language
Throughout this process, constantly check in with the cat’s body language. Is the cat moving towards you or away from you? Look for signs of overstimulation, like tail flicking or back spasms. Petting-induced overstimulation can occur if you move too quickly, especially with a head-to-tail pet. Always stick to the cheeks or head, and leave the cat wanting more rather than overwhelming them.
The Role of the Guardian
If you’re visiting someone else’s cat, the guardian plays an important role. They know the cat’s preferences, including their favorite treats. If possible, ask them to withhold those treats before your visit, so you can be the one to offer them as a gesture of goodwill. This “Santa Claus effect” can work wonders in building a bond.
Consent and Empathy
It’s crucial to remember that consent can be given and revoked at any time. This applies to any relationship, whether with a cat or a human. Always approach with empathy, check in with their story, triggers, and body language. The foundation of a strong relationship with a cat begins and ends with empathy and respect for their consent.
Final Thoughts
Building a relationship with a cat takes time and patience. You may not win over every cat, and that’s okay. It’s their right to take their time, and all you can do is approach them with a 360-degree understanding of their world. With empathy, consent, and a little bit of patience, you can begin the process of forming a beautiful friendship.